Aubry wrote: ↑Sun May 21, 2017 11:00:03 pm
Lindsey wrote: ↑Sun May 21, 2017 10:31:48 pm
Aubry: On paper, you've played the "best game". You've flipped on many people to get yourself to the end, you've been selfish and selfless at the right times, you've found two idols, you've won challenges. Yet, this isn't a clear sweep, and I hope you prepared yourself for that. My question is-- why did you decide to get me out before Andrea? Do you think your footprint is deep enough for the jury to take notice and respect? While I feel like you possess each quality that's needed to win this game- social, physical, strategic- by being wishy washy and not forcefully planting your name deeply rooted into this game, I think you fall shortsighted on your lack of self-awareness. While I commend the game you played (and the amount of effort and dedication it took to eloquently convince us your game beats the other two in your FTC speech) your current attitude seems overly-confident. During the game, you came off to me as VERY unsure of your gameplay: untrustworthy, nervous, anxious, unaware, and oblivious. Were you purposely acting that way towards me to throw me off course, or were you being genuine with your uneasiness about the votes/majority? Thanks, and good game girl. <3
Thank you so much girl!!! I have prepared for a non-clean sweep, no doubt! I wanted to get you out before Andrea because Andrea was the easier sell to everyone else. She was, hands down, the biggest threat to win the game against anyone. I wanted to keep her around because (historically) she was not likely to win FIC, and would be an easy vote off at f4. I knew that, if I was to be a target at 4, I wanted to keep a bigger threat around until that point to save myself. Andrea was a threat to literally everyone, and so she was perfect for that role. You, however, had close allies that would not have turned on you, even at 4! That was threatening to me, that LJ and maybe Tai would have taken you to the end over me. That was my perception: keeping you in over Andrea would make my place in the f3 more shaky. I needed Andrea as my meat shield for f4.
You're right that I didn't stamp my name into this game. The people that did were too big of threats, and got taken out. It's a really hard line to MAKE moves, to PLAY the game, without being an obvious threat like Andrea. I feel like I walked that line, though imperfectly.
As for the anxiety, this is a rough question. I'm never, EVER 100% sure on anything in this game when it comes to tribal. Or really anything at all - I know there are a thousand unknowns in every aspect of this game, as well as life. As an example, when I won FIC, I read Jeff's post saying "Aubry! Wins immunity, and a place in the final 3" 4 times. ALOUD. To make sure I was READING right. That's the person I am - always quadruple checking things, never EVER confident without fact checking. SO, no, I was never confident, never comfortable. Even when I had crunched the numbers a thousand times, read and reread and reread aloud people's IMs, thought about other's motivations/drives/relationships, and checking all the boxes and in the back of my mind KNOWING I'm good. Even if someone from 10 mins in the future came back and told me "Aubry, this vote x will go home." I still would be nervous before tribal. I'm just really neurotic that way! That, I think, is healthy in this game. Being constantly skeptical, thinking about what's best for YOU, thinking about what other people think is best for THEM... it leaves a lot of room for error, and I'm a human capable of miscalculations. But, it gives you the best chance of success, instead of being done in by overconfidence. Oh gosh I'm rambling, the POINT IS that the anxiety was REAL, but even I knew that most of the time it was unfounded. That I knew (at least ROUGHLY) how the vote was going to go, who was with me, who was playing me. But regardless of these certainties, the anxiety at and before tribal would always be there.
